If Only (Captured) Read online

  Once the excitement and interest simmers, Tara asks me about my up and coming vacation. I fill her in, but for some reason, I keep seeing coffee bean brown eyes. I can’t seem to erase them from my mind.

  I didn’t even get the guy’s name.

  Three: Joe

  I’m sitting at the front desk in the shop, adding the finishing touches to a sketch for my buddy’s tat. Just as I complete the work, Dane stealthily walks in and approaches me with the confidence and grace that justify his choice of body art. His pretty-boy hazel eyes lock on the image, as he leans across the counter with his hands braced atop it. “That’s the shit,” he says, nodding his head in approval, the dreadlocks that go on for miles hanging over his shoulders.

  It’s a panther, designed in a way to make it look as though it’s coming out of his torso, tearing through his flesh with its claws and teeth.

  “Right, let’s do this,” I say, standing up from my seat.

  Once we’re both sitting on chairs, me behind Dane and the stencil transferred onto the left side of his lower back, I snap on my gloves and turn on the tattoo machine. The familiar buzzing sound replaces the silence in the studio, and I start the outline, the needles punching the black ink into his cocoa colored skin.

  “Where’d you go last night? Makayla was lookin’ for you. What’s up with that girl?” he asks.

  As it stands, we’re the only ones here, because it’s after hours now, so our conversation is no-holds-barred. “That’s exactly why I left. That chick’s on the lookout for a boyfriend, no way in hell am I messin’ with her, fuck no. I don’t care how hot she is. A.J. hooked me up with entrance to the VIP section of that new casino on Market Street. I figured the ink might not go down well, so I headed home and changed into something more appropriate, then went to check out the place.”

  “How’d it go? Win anything?”

  “Didn’t even get to play. I was headed for a game of Blackjack, and there’s this woman playing Roulette at a table I was passin.’ She’s standing there in a tight-ass little black dress and five-inch red stilettos, and I’m looking at them thinking how the fuck does she walk in those? Real pretty lady, she looked like Jada Pinkett only taller. I walked over and stood next to her thinking to myself this seems like a good place to start. She leans into me and whispers, “Why are all you cute men gay?”

  Dane guffaws, his whole body shaking with it. I abruptly stop inking him. “That’s some fucked up shit,” he says, through his fit of humor.

  “Some fucked up shit if you do that again, dude, you almost messed with the line.”

  He’s still laughing. The memory of it has me chuckling, too, that’s a whole bunch of what-the-fuck right there. I’ve never been asked that before.

  “So what happened?” he asks, as his amusement eases.

  I get back to the tat. “I said, “I’m not gay.” She said, “You’ve got to be, I saw the way you looked at my high heels and you’ve got style.” I’m like, “I’m in pants and a button-down. And why would a gay guy like your pumps? I’ll show you I’m not gay, who you here with?” She nodded in the direction of a couple ladies on the other side of the table and hit me with, “I’m a big girl. I don’t have to stay here with them.” We left right then, went to her place and, dude, I fucked the shit out of her. And I did not let those stilettos come off.”

  Dane chuckles, I pause again. “What in the hell made her think you were gay? That’s ridiculous.”

  “I thought so, too, but she knows differently now. She was hot, man, bangin’ body.”

  “Jada Pinkett! Damn,” he says, with full appreciation evident in his tone.

  Two hours later, Dane’s tattoo is done and he’s gone. My intention was to set the alarm, lock up, and head home, but something’s been bugging me. Sitting at the desk, at the front of the shop, I reach into the top draw and take out a sketchbook and a pencil. I out all the lights except for the small one by the phone and, led to paper, I give way to an image that’s been haunting me for an entire seven days.

  Four: Callie

  Finally, the moment has arrived – goodbye cool, foggy San Francisco, hello sunny, hot Cancun. My enthusiasm isn’t because I can’t wait to leave this place – I love San Francisco – I’m just thrilled about my trip. And this is my first one without my parents, my celebration for finishing high school and going to college in the fall. I’m going with Su, my sister, Elena, and her best friend, Roxanne. I’m at an exciting phase in my life and I have many things planned over the summer, starting with this vacation.

  A knock sounds at my door. Mom walks in. “Callie, you leave in less than two hours and you haven’t even packed yet,” she says in a Southern Irish accent, barely influenced by over twenty years living in the U.S. The way she’s standing there with her hands propped on her hips, her brown eyes taking in a sight she’s clearly unimpressed with, I feel like a kid who’s been caught with their fingers in the cookie jar.

  “I have everything I need right here.” It would probably help if I didn’t actually sound like I’d just been caught with my fingers in the cookie jar. “I only have to put it in my case.”

  At the moment, I have all my stuff thrown in a pile on my purple carpet and, if mom hadn’t come in when she did, I’d have gathered it up and chucked it all in my suitcase. It’s not how I’d usually do things, but I chose staying with Nick last night, and most of today, over coming home and packing.

  Mom sits on my bed and reaches for a pink T-shirt at the top of the heap. I definitely have to do this properly now, so I settle beside her.

  “At least you’ve tidied your room. Have you got your driver’s license, money and–”

  “Yes, Mom, I have everything. Stop worrying, we’ll all be fine.”

  “I know you will, but I also know how disorganized you can be. You’re too much like your dad.”

  “You’ve been working all day, you should go relax. I can do this myself.”

  “If I leave now this’ll all just get chucked in your suitcase.” She places the five Tshirts she’s folded into my case.

  “I have everything ready. That’s the most important part, right? I’m more organized than you think.”

  She doesn’t bother to reply. I’m organized as far as I’m concerned, everything always gets done, but I’m not as rigid as mom and Elena, so I don’t quite reach their standard. I am more like dad. He always gets things done, too. I put three denim hot pants in with the tees. Mom’s way ahead of me. Maybe this is useful, after all, at her speed it’ll be done in no time, and I’ll have only done about a third of it. Nice going.

  “Where’s your sunscreen?” she asks, while inspecting my toiletries on the floor. “Just because you tan easily it doesn’t mean you don’t need to protect your skin.”

  I glance over at my pine dresser. “There.” I point out. “You’ll notice I bought the best brand, I am taking my skin care seriously.”

  She laughs to herself, sounding lightly humored. “Whatever will you do without Nick?” she teases.

  “Miss him like crazy.” That’s the only disadvantage to my vacation, but we all agreed it would be girls only. I sigh at the thought of two weeks without my man. I already miss him.

  Mom shakes her head, a soft, affectionate smile shaping her lips. “It’ll be good for you to have some time away from each other. It’s only been five months, and you think he’s the love of your life already.”

  “That’s because he is. I don’t need to be with him for longer to know that. And, before you say it, I don’t need to be older to know it, either.” I put a pile of shorts and skirts in with the other items, trying not to be offended by her words. I fail. “Would you rather I sleep around then?”

  She stabs me with hard eye contact. I know she doesn’t think that, I really shouldn’t have said it. Mom always encouraged Elena and me to save ourselves for someone we love. I did; Nick.

  “You met Dad when you were eighteen, too, and you’re still together twenty-three years later.”

&
nbsp; “Yes, I did, but I didn’t get serious about your dad so quickly, Callie.”

  “That’s probably because you lived in Ireland. You couldn’t get too serious when most of the time you wrote each other.”

  “Yes, but we got to know each other well and at the same time had our separate lives and our own experiences. It was a good year before I came here to live with my aunt, and then we dated for six months before he proposed to me. Settling down and marriage isn’t so urgent these days.”

  “Whoa, Mother, slow down, we’re not moving that fast. We don’t even talk about that stuff, and I wouldn’t do it now, anyway.” She sighs again and focuses on packing the clothes she just folded. “I thought you liked Nick?”

  “Of course I do, but I want you to enjoy yourself, not be falling in love when you’ve got so much to look forward to. Nick’s five years older than you, he’s experienced more than you have.”

  So it’s the age difference that’s the problem. Makes more sense, because she knew my dad was the one before she even knew his name. And she was my age. I get it now. “I’m not rushing anything, honestly. At least he’s not like Ryan, he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend just because I wouldn’t–” I stop right there on that topic. I may not have loved the douche, but I still felt betrayed. He still broke my trust and hurt me, the fucking ass.

  “Yes, I know, sweetheart, don’t get upset.” She rubs my thigh gently. “All I’m saying is your trip with the girls is a good opportunity for you to do other things, with other people. You’re both so wrapped up in each other. I just want you to make the most of being young.”

  “I know and I will. I am. I’m not gonna rush anything, and I have a bunch of fun stuff planned over the summer, they don’t all include Nick. He’s also got motocross commitments, so he’ll be away a lot during the coming months. I promise I’ll spend time with my other friends, okay? I’m still with Su almost as often as I was before, that’s never going to change.”

  She smiles and continues with the task at hand.

  By the time we’ve finished, everything I need to take with me is packed and well organized. As I said, things always get done. I’m glad mom came to help, though, it’s been a lot easier, and I’m happy we got to talk. She left my room seeming reassured. My relationship did become serious quite fast, there’s no denying that, but I’ve felt good about each step Nick and I have taken so far.

  Five: Joe

  I glance at my watch; I have one hour to go before my next client. “Adam, I’m gonna go grab something to eat, do ya want anything?”

  “Nah, I’m good,” he replies, without looking up from the tattoo he’s finishing on a young lady’s left ankle.

  After a quick cigarette outside the studio, I head into the coffee shop next door. It’s mid-week and just before the lunchtime rush, meaning service is quick. With my espresso and a chicken sub, I go back to work and sit in the office going over one of my designs for tomorrow.

  I almost jump out of my seat when my brother comes bursting through the door, quickly closing it behind him. “Joe, dude, you will not believe who your next appointment is.” The excitement about his face right now makes no sense at all. I’m trying to remember the client’s name, but all I can recall is that it’s a female. It wasn’t anyone famous, as far as I knew, so I’m beyond intrigued.

  “Okay,” I say, as I stand up from my chair, sipping the last tiny drop of my espresso. “Hit me with it, who is she?” I ditch my empty cup in the trash and meet his gaze.

  “No, man, you have to go out there. You’re not going to believe this.”

  This is weird. His actions remind me of the time when he was eleven years old and he had his first kiss with some girl he’d been crushing on. Out of the blue, she planted one on him. He burst into my bedroom, with the biggest smile on his face, eager to tell all. This is almost like that, but why would he be so excited about my next booking? It wouldn’t be Aimee, the girl I first locked lips with. And there’s no woman on God’s good earth that’s likely to justify this level of enthusiasm, at least, not one that exists outside of my head. To make matters worse, I really, really can’t evoke her name.

  Instead of strutting out there, not knowing what to expect, I figure a peek from behind the door is probably a good idea. Yeah, that’s a little strange at twenty-two years of age, but there is no way in hell I’m going to just walk out there. Not with Adam acting the way he is right now.

  I pull on the knob, creating the smallest of gaps to look through. At the front of the shop is a pretty Asian girl with shoulder length jet-black hair, streaked with red highlights. I don’t know her, but she’s talking to someone who’s still out of sight. Before I have the chance to do anything else, my brother yanks the door open. He barely misses my face with it as I jump out of the way and back up against the wall.

  This is beyond ridiculous.

  What I’m hiding from, I have no idea, but my reaction was instinctive. Who the hell has got my brother acting like an eleven year old, and me acting like a fucking idiot?

  “Asshole,” I whisper across to him, standing on the other side. “Tell me who it is.” I’m getting pissed now and my heartbeat is still heavy from his unexpected act, you’d think I just sprinted across the finish line of a damn race or something.

  “Just go out there. Trust me, this is good, it’s very good.”

  A deep breath, followed by a brief pause, and I head out to the studio floor. Again, the Asian girl is who I see. I follow her gaze. In this instance, I do not move, I don’t even fucking breathe.

  She’s standing with her back to me, the strands of pink silk pulled up into a ponytail.

  My angel.

  As I stand taking her in, she turns around. Instant recognition. Her brows rise briefly and the small curve of her lips swiftly becomes a wide smile, which touches her eyes. My heart beats rapidly and hard to the point I hear nothing but my pulse, heavy in my ears.

  When I do die and go to heaven this is exactly how I want it to be.

  Out of nowhere, I remember the client’s name. “Callie Rogers?” I ask, striding toward her.

  “Yes, that’s me.” She beams, walking to me, closing the short distance between us. “This is unexpected, do you work here?”

  “Yeah, my brother, Adam, does also,” I say, thumbing in his direction over my shoulder, not even bothering to turn to him in the slightest. Like the last time I saw this girl, I can’t do anything other than look at her. “My uncle owns this place.”

  “He does? Of all the shops for me to go to, I end up here. Su, this is the guy I almost collided with a couple months ago.”

  “Really?” the other chick says.

  The expression on her friend’s face, when I threw a glance her way, suggested she was quite delighted to see me. Why? I have no idea, but I don’t linger much on that thought.

  “Were you okay after that? I’ve been wondering about you,” Callie says.

  “Yeah, I was totally fine.”

  “Well, that’s good, I’m glad to hear it. So are you doing me today?”

  “Doing you?” Okay, Joe, pull it together, dude, this is not cool. “Both nipples pierced and a tattoo, right?”

  “Yes. Can we get this done as quickly as possible, please? I’m getting nervous now,” she says, fidgeting with her fingers. “Oh, and Su wants to discuss a tat she’s been thinking about, if that’s okay?”

  How the hell am I supposed to touch her in such a place and keep my calm? I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve thought about her over the past two months. I didn’t actually think I’d see her again, not outside of my head, even though I hoped I would. All of this isn’t helped by the fact that I’ve already seen the rip right under the butt of her faded blue jeans, exposing the naked flesh of her thigh. Or the hint of pink panties intentionally displayed above the waistband of those same tight Levi’s.

  This is not going to be easy. This is insane.

  I make a point of not letting my gaze settle on the way he
r white T-shirt stretches so nicely over the body parts I’ll be seeing soon. “Of course, let’s go.” Turning, I lead them through to the room at the back where we do private piercings.

  Holding the door open, I step aside and gesture for both girls to enter. “Right, just take a seat, Su. Callie, you need to sit on that table.” I point toward the padded piece of furniture in the center. “I’ll be right back,” I tell them.

  “Bro, quickly,” I say, signaling for Adam to follow me into the office.

  “Told you, didn’t I?” He’s still as excited as before.

  “Yes, you did. I have to pierce her nipples. How the hell am I supposed to do that?” I say, in a raised whisper.

  He frowns, confusion marring his expression. “What?”

  “How can I touch her there?” All I can think about is that my hands are already shaking.

  “Pull your shit together, dude, she’s just a chick. It’s not like you haven’t done it before.”

  “Not with her.” That face and those sensual curves, seriously, if she’s got me like this already, how do I handle seeing her bare flesh in this type of situation? “You do them for me. I’ll do the tat after.”

  “No, I’ve got my own client to do.”

  “Not for forty-five minutes, you’ll be done by then.”

  “No. Trust me, bro,” he says, placing his hand on my shoulder and pointing at me with the forefinger of his other, “you’ll thank me for this one day, so suck it up and get in there already.”

  “Are you really not going to help me out?”

  “I am. Go do it.”

  “Fuck!” I exclaim, as I walk back out of the office.

  Of all the times for Diane, our female body piercer, to be on vacation.

  Six: Callie

  “Callie, I think he likes you, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. I think you make him nervous.”

  “I do not need to hear that, Su. What would he be nervous about? I’m the one who’s about to have a needle shoved through both my nipples.”